Whole Body Relaxation

Relaxation is not something you can do. It is a letting go of doing, a letting go of effort. The body and mind know how to relax, we just need to give them a chance to do what's natural.

Ideally a muscle contracts to perform an action and then when the action is finished, goes back into its relaxed state. That's the natural cycle -- relaxed - tensed - relaxed. Our dog can be lying completely relaxed on the sofa and then, with a sudden loud noise, she snaps to attention. Looking around and seeing that nothing is threatening or amiss, she's immediately back to relaxation mode. We humans, however,  are often chronically "at attention". Whether it's trying to keep up with the frenzied pace of modern life, or remaining in "flight or fight" mode after a major stress, we can find it difficult to get back into the relaxation mode.

Our Whole Body Relaxation meditation gently guides you into a relaxed state through a process of noticing tension and letting it go. Remember, your body knows how to relax. Given the chance it will happen on its own. Using this meditation repeatedly creates a new habit so that you can relax more easily anytime.

Let us know how it works for you, and feel free to ask questions!

(This meditation is a gift to you from our Relax & Rest app.)

Loneliness as a doorway to connection - guided meditation

Loneliness can be a doorway to connection. Contained within the feelings of loneliness is our capacity for connection. Our podcast meditation - Guided Meditation for Loneliness - encourages you to go deep into the feelings of loneliness to connect with yourself and ultimately with others. So often we resist emotions that we feel are threatening or unpleasant. Most of us don't want to feel pain, but resisting our feelings alienates us from ourselves. This is especially true with loneliness. When we are lonely, we may feel deeply sad or have a strong sense of yearning. We might feel anxious, especially if we feel that there is something wrong with us for feeling they way we do. And yet going into the very heart of loneliness, experiencing it all the way, allows us to feel the most important connection of all -- the connection to ourselves.

Remember -- loneliness is a normal human feeling. It's a result of your natural capacity and desire for connection. I would love to hear about your experiences with this meditation.

Is meditation making me irritable?

Ideally meditation will make us less, not more irritable, but sometimes people do find that irritability or other uncomfortable experiences come up when they begin mediation. I just answered a question from Danielle who is having this problem. The question and answer are worth posting, as it's much easier to find articles about the benefits of meditation than about the challenges that may come along.

Q (from Danielle who recently started meditating):

"The past week I feel I’m more irritated than I usually am, mostly about other people. Is it possible that meditation makes you more sensitive to sounds, noise, etc? Have you heard it before that people become more irritated in a time where they meditate? Of course it is possible that other issues in my life attribute to this feeling. Do you have a suggestion or should I just let it be?"

A:  "There could be a number of reasons that you are feeling more irritable and you will need to experiment with and explore them to see what is happening. As you say, it could be issues in your life and not have to do with the meditation. Some people become irritable when under stress. If it is related to the meditation, I can think of three possibilities:

1 – You are coming out of meditation too quickly. If you get deep into meditation and then come out really fast, it can cause a headache or irritability. Always take time to come out of meditation slowly.

2 – Sometimes emotions that are under the surface can come up in the deep relaxation of meditation. We may become more aware of things that we are feeling. This ties in with the life issues. You may be more aware of how you are feeling about things, perhaps something that you are angry about, or it could even been some stored anger from the past. In either case, let the feeling be there in meditation, letting go if you notice resistance. When you are out of meditation, see if you can find the source of the irritation.

3 – You are straining in meditation. Ideally meditation is effortless, or you develop the habit of backing off when you realize you are trying too hard. It could make you irritable if you are making too much effort."

I asked Danielle to keep me posted on what she discovers as she explores these possibilities. I'd love to hear from you if you have had similar experiences or challenges with meditation.

A Gift of Acceptance and Self-Love

A visit from a friend the other day brought an unexpected gift. One of the greatest things a friend can do is to help us to love and appreciate ourselves more, and that's exactly what my friend did when she visited my home. My friend, also named Mary, is a beautiful woman, beautiful inside and out. She is always beautifully dressed, her hair perfect, and you could drop into her home at any time to find a picture perfect, lovely and orderly environment. We share a love of nature, and I have always admired her meticulously cared for, orderly (and weedless) garden and yard. Mary always makes me feel special and loved, yet despite this I felt a bit intimidated about having her visit me at my home for the first time. I am not a perfect housekeeper. My garden, as filled as it is with beautiful things, is never weed-free and certainly not symmetrical or planned with any sort of special arrangement in mind. You could say that these things, as well as how I dress, is "casual". As I ushered her along the patio to the door, she immediately remarked on how beautiful my yard is. I was really struck by this. While I was seeing the weeds that need to be pulled, plants that need to be replaced and spots where something needs to be planted, all she saw was the beauty of the flowers and shrubs. Her appreciation was genuine, and what I saw as a "deficiency" in my gardening, she saw as delightful. She was enjoying the casualness and spontaneity of it, which mirrors nature itself.

Mary helped me see things, myself included, with new eyes. This continued once we were inside and she commented on the peacefulness and quiet in our home -- that was what she noticed, not the details of the furnishings. I showed her a painting of wisteria by my mother. I have always enjoyed it as I love wisteria and the painting seems to capture it in a charming way. Mary said she liked it because of the way the wisteria is casually presented -- not contained neatly inside the picture in a symmetrical way. There is a certain sense of abandon in it. Now when I look at the painting, I see it as a reflection of my garden and some of the traits my mother passed on to me.

Mary's visit left me with a greater acceptance, and even appreciation, of myself. My experience of my garden and yard is different. I see it with new eyes, and appreciate it more everyday. As I thought of sharing this story with you, I couldn't help but see the connection with the style of meditation I've embraced. It's one of acceptance of what is, including acceptance of oneself. I hope our visits together in the meditations bring you the same gift Mary's visit brought me.

Pregnancy Meditation -- Connecting with your Baby

Deepening your connection to your baby during pregnancy is not only fulfilling in itself, but has benefits for both mother and baby. This new podcast meditation helps you to relax deeply, tune into your body and connect with the baby in your womb. When deeply relaxed, everything flows more easily in your body, circulating blood with its nutrients and oxygen to nourish both you and your child. Your breathing becomes deeper and more regular. The physical benefits of this for both you and your baby are obvious. Mentally your mind becomes more settled and open and you are able to focus on your baby. Emotionally, you are more available to bond with your child and tune into your child's presence and energy. Being more tuned in will automatically guide you in your eating and lifestyle choices.

As you continue to use the meditation, your connection will deepen. You may also want to share the meditation with the baby's father. When the guidance is to become aware of the baby "inside you", he can also connect with the baby inside you. Listening together will enhance your connection with each other, harmonize your intentions, and help you bond with each other as you bond with your baby.

This meditation was born of many requests by pregnant women over the years. Most of them have had their babies by now, but they did help birth this meditation. I would love to hear about your experiences with the meditation!