No right or wrong way to meditate

Meditation is about your own self-discovery. Learning to meditate is about discovering your own natural ability to shift into a way of being that is natural and effortless. It's about finding what already exists in your own awareness. My goal with my guided meditations is to create a platform from which you can make your own discoveries, so ther e is no right or wrong way to do them. Meditation is a happening, not something that you do. However it happens for you is just right. Yesterday I answered an email question making this point, and today I received a reply back which was so beautiful. It's all about this very point, in this case as it applies to someone experiencing anxiety. I'm sharing part of the email exchange here because I think it might be meaningful for many of you.

Question: "I have always had an interest in meditation and have known for some time that it would help me get over my anxiety and panic attacks but only in the last 3 months have I made it a part of my daily life and the results have been dramatic. Just knowing that the peace that meditation brings is available to me whenever I need it has made a huge difference to my day to day life and your podcasts have been instrumental in this. I really can't thank you enough for taking the time out of your life to do this for others.

However, the anxiety I feel often manifests itself physically as a tight chest and shallow breathing. During meditations I have found that focusing on my breathing when it is already laboured sometimes makes this worse as I become more conscious of the unpleasant sensation and this feeds the anxiety. My breathing does eventually become effortless but generally only when I take my mind off my breathing.

I imagine that this may be the case for others who suffer from heightened anxiety and would love to hear your views and opinions on the matter.

Thanks again for making the podcast and the website. It really has been a huge help for me to make meditation part of my daily life."

Answer: "Thank you so much for your open sharing of your journey with anxiety.  It's wonderful ...that you've made meditation part of your life. You are very welcome for the podcast -- it's so inspiring to hear from people with stories like yours!

These meditations are really meant as a springboard for the discovery of your ability to relax and enter a meditative state. Although we do have a Breath Awareness Meditation among the podcasts, and some other meditations refer to breathing, there are many that don't involve awareness of the breath. Perhaps you'll find that certain meditations are more useful than others at different times.  For example, when you are particularly anxious, the breath meditation may not be the best one for you. You can trust your intuition on this! 

And when you are doing a meditation you don't need to follow the instructions precisely.  There's no right or wrong experience or way to do them. They are there for your own exploration and discovery. You discovered that at certain times taking your mind off your breathing works best. You can trust yourself and do just that!"

Questioner's Reply:

"Thank you so much for your reply. The fact that you said that there is no right and wrong experience and that the meditations are there for our own discovery really has helped me see the breathing issue in a different light. Even if my breath isn't effortless then that's ok because this is my experience and whatever happens during my meditation is right for me. I'd get frustrated in the past thinking that because my breathing was difficult then I was doing it wrong somehow. Of course you mention these things in your podcasts but sometimes you have to be told something many times before you take actually take it on board don't you?

As I have realised many times since I started meditating, the relaxation and peace I'm looking for only comes when I stop frantically trying to find it. The first time I ever felt the complete peace that meditation can bring I felt so stupid! I'd been looking everywhere for this feeling during my anxiety and there it was all the time, quietly waiting for me to stop looking. Just that knowledge made all the difference."

Relax and float down stream...

We named our podcast Meditation Oasis. The name came to Richard early on. Then we spent a lot of time brainstorming to find the "best" name, but Meditation Oasis stuck. We didn't realized that the name would have a life of its own. I recently did a search on iLike.com in order to "claim" our artist pages. Not only were we listed as Mary and Richard Maddux and Mary Maddux, but Meditation Oasis was there as well. When we started a page on MySpace a couple weeks ago, the only kind of page we could fit into was a "band" page and now we're a band called Meditation Oasis on MySpace! Instead of just "going with the flow", I found myself saying hey, whoa, is this really the name we want? Let's sit back and think this thing over. Maybe there's a better name. It's something about how I was raised. It's always been a challenge for me to buy the first thing I see. I can find the perfect pair of jeans right off, but end up having to try on all the rest "just in case". I measure my progress sometimes by my ability to go with the first thing that comes along when it feels just right. But this one really challenged me -- the name our work is coming to be known by. Life once again is challenging me to walk my talk (or I should say follow my own meditations!)

"Meditation Oasis" has a life of its own. Life itself is a life of its own. It's not mine to direct in what I may think is the "best" way. It happens. And once more, I'm learning to go with the flow.

As Lennon and McCartney once sang it, "Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream...".

What is my philosophy and background? Part 1-- Keeping it universal.

"Erica" asked a the following question today on the About page of this blog. "I am wondering if your style of meditation is rooted in any specific philosophy. I have had an interest in Buddhist Vipassana meditation (Insight Meditation) for several years. I seem to hear many of the same principles in your meditations and on your website. Could you share a little more about the origins of your meditations and life outlook? Sorry, I know it’s kind of a big question… I’m just curious."

I've hesitated to write much about my background and philosophy for a number of reasons. One reason is that I'm much more interested in people formulating their own philosophies and having their own unique journeys with the meditations than I am in having people focus on mine. Another reason is that I can't really say I have a philosophy of life. I'm definitely interested in becoming more alive and more at peace, but when I try to put that journey into words, the words can be misleading. In addition, my philosophy of life, if I have one, is constantly evolving. What I might say today is not what I might say tomorrow...

As for my background, it's something that happened in the past. True meditation is a fresh, new experience. It is influenced by everything one has done and studied before, but it's always an opportunity for a new discovery. If I look to the past, I may limit what can happen now and my desire is to become increasingly present to the here and now. I try not to limit myself or anyone else by the past.

I also hesitate to be really specific about my background because I want to leave the door open to anyone who may resonate with the meditations I create. In truth, my background has exposed me to many teachers and teachings, but what I have discovered is that there are common elements among different teachings and those elements that are universal seem the most useful and "true". For me the experience of meditation is what is important, not the ideas about it and philosophies. What is fascinating to me is how different people can have such different insights and results from the meditations. What we get from meditation or a teacher is based more on our own process and intentions than it is on what is put forth by the teacher.

Erica did ask me to share something about my background and philosophy, however, and we do learn something from hearing each others' journeys and experiences. So now that I've told you some of the reasons I like to avoid talking about these things, I think I'll go ahead with Part 2 of this post and get a bit more "up close and personal". Thanks for asking, Erica!

Discovering "aliveness" in the breath

When we observe the process of breathing, really observe it, even for a moment, a very profound meditation happens. I recently received a newsletter from the Advaita Fellowship (Wayne Liquorman), and am quoting from it below, as it is such a beautiful understanding of the gifts that observing the breath can bring.

"This aliveness we are talking about is worth investigating. It is here, in this moment. It is as close to you as your breath. In fact, your breath IS this Livingness. You do not have to remember to breathe. Your breath is literally breathing you. Stop reading the words on this page for a moment and investigate this phenomenon of breathing....

(If you did not stop, but simply read on to this sentence, I fully understand...you are a lot like me....however there REALLY is something to be seen in the stopping for a moment even if you are an "advanced" student and have examined your breath many times previously.)

Perhaps you were able to see the way in which your breath "just happens." You breathe even when you forget to breathe. There is a force here that operates independent of your decisions and intentions... It is this Life that is living you even to the extent that you falsely believe yourself to be living IT."

Effortless Meditation

True meditation is by its nature effortless. A meditative state is a state without effort. The basic nature of life itself, actually, is effortless. So what is trying in meditation all about? That's something worth investigating! Of course, we can't become effortless by trying. Hopefully our latest Effortless Meditation podcast will support you in being effortless.

Much of what I wrote about the Letting Go meditation applies here. This is simply another angle on the same theme that runs through all of my meditations and blog posts, and yet I truly feel the less said on this the better!