Winter blues? Some ideas for lifting your spirits!

Dan on Facebook asked for some thoughts on seasonal depression. A lover of the outdoors, he's finding it challenging to spend so much time inside. Winter is a challenge for me too, even here in California where the winters are far milder and shorter than in my native New Jersey. Finding ways of getting through winter has been a big focus for me, and for the first time this year, winter's not so hard. In fact, at times I'm even enjoying it! Seasonal depression is quite common, and it can range from simple "winter blahs" to something much more intense. The darkness of winter, combined with the cold and the necessity to stay indoors, can all lead to feeling blue. But I think sometimes winter can also trigger a stronger depression that has to do with unresolved emotional issues that surface when winter forces us to be less active and we have less things to distract us from what lies within us. In that sense, winter can also be an opportunity to see what parts of yourself need healing and attention. For example, for most of us, there's grief from a variety of losses in life that we've never fully processed. Our culture doesn't do grief well. We get a "stay on the sunny side of the street" kind of message that causes us to avoid the painful feelings of grief. But avoiding, suppressing and distracting ourselves from feelings doesn't make them go away. Given the more restful time of winter, these feelings can surface.

Although I'm going to share list of some things I've done to make winter easier, I have to start by saying that inner work I've done in the past has a lot to do with my good spirits this winter. Your everyday, garden-variety winter doldrums might be helped by some of the things I'll share, but it may take more than that if the depression is more intense.  If you feel your depression is more than simple winter blahs, I'd encourage you to explore the possibility that there is more going on. You can find lots of reading online about depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder. It may be that winter is helping you to see that there's some inner work to do. Attending to your depression can lead to a more fulfilling life later on. There are lots of good therapies for depression, so I hope you'll get some help if needed.

And now, as someone who has always dreaded the coming of winter, here are the things I've found that are making a big difference for me:

  • I bring more light into my home - light candles, have some pretty lamps lit. If I had a fireplace, I'd make lots of fires. It's amazing though, how much even one lit candle can mean in winter. Whenever possible, I spend a least a few minutes in the sun, really soaking it in. Full spectrum lighting can help as well.
  • Exercise. Exercise helps with depression, and part of the blahs may come from being more sedentary in winter. I used to rely a lot on walking and when it was too cold to go out in winter, I was at a loss. A few things have made all the difference -- an elliptical machine, a bodybar and the hula.
  • I do whatever it takes to stay warm. Lots of layers of clothes, especially yummy wool sweaters with beautiful colors that lift my spirits. I use an electric mattress pad to warm my bed before I get in. If I feel chilled, I'll even warm my clothes in a dryer and put them on. I can't tell you how good the heat feels. I have no shame when it comes to keeping warm. People joke about it when I wear two wool hats, one on top of the other, but my comfort comes first!
  • Find enjoyable indoor activities. For me, lately, it's been the hula. I can't tell you how happy it makes me. Find something that really lifts your spirits and do it!
  • Bring nature indoors. If you, like me, are a lover of nature, having plants indoors can really help. Taking care of them, seeing them grow brings a bit of spring and summer into your home. Forcing bulbs in winter is also wonderful. How about some lovely, fragrant narcissus or hyacinth? The Nature Attunement Meditation is perfect for this as well!
  • Attitude. Oh yes, lest I forget, that all important ingredient. Cognitive therapy is effective in depression, and I think of an attitude adjustment as being just that. If I focus on how long and dreary winter is and how much I want it over with, it does seem incredibly long and dreary. Instead I'm learning to focus on the positive side of winter -- the opportunity to be more restful and go within. It's a time to hibernate and meditate. It's a time to contemplate.
  • Surrender. Finally, perhaps the most important ingredient is surrendering to the melancholy when it's present. We're conditioned to fight it and resist it, to feel it's bad or wrong. It's a natural part of life. So often our suffering comes from feeling we should be different than we are (as in always happy and upbeat). Life as we know it couldn't exist without the poles of opposites - joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain. Let it be OK to feel blue.

Perhaps some of these things will be useful for you. Or you may have some other strategies to share. I'd love to know what works for you!

Winter as Meditation

A friend just shared a beautiful poem she wrote about winter. Although the title of the poem is Winter's Resurgence, I titled this post "Winter as Meditation", because for me winter is a season of meditation. It brings an invitation to go within. In the dormancy of winter, all sorts of things are going on underground and these underground stirrings are the foundation of the blossoming of spring. In the same way, the deep rest of meditation is a foundation for creativity and productivity when meditation is finished.

Here is K's poem. It spoke to me on so many levels and in so many different ways, but I'll be quiet now, like winter, and let the poem reveal its special meaning for you. I'd love to hear what it means to you...

Winter's Resurgence

Winter has come upon us with her majestic stillness and fierce storms Blanketing us in her winter's lair Beckoning us to breath in rhythm

And it is here that I speak my prayer:

'Take a part of me deep into your forested womb Keep me there, giving me rest, away from worldly desires and despairs Cover me with your insight and love Hold me like there is no where else to go, nothing more to become Heal me of my tired and disenchanted ways Let me be still inside, my belly connected with yours like the dormant snake of winter lying securely in you'

And when your mists begins to lift, may your nurturing womb flow me out and birth me new

K. McCauley A.
Winter's Resurgence 12/20/08~1/13/10
dedicated to Sarah Dole, teacher and friend

Finding Harmony in Diversity with Meditation

I've been finding myself deeply affected lately by a growing awareness of the tremendous diversity of our Meditation Oasis "family". Facebook more than anything has made me aware of how different we all are and yet we are drawn together by our common human experience and the deepest aspects of our inner life which we reach through meditation. From time to time I like to click on the faces on the Facebook page. It's been so fulfilling to see people living in so many different countries with such different interests. Many of us could probably fall into heated discussions with each other at the drop of a hat over politics and find ourselves world's apart in our musical tastes. Yet we can all sit together and meditate and experience a place of complete harmony.

Many of us are busy with holidays now, but some are not. We all experienced the solstice yesterday, but for some it signaled the shortest day of the year while for others it was the longest. We moved into winter where I live, but some of you are experiencing summer. Awareness of these differences has caused me to pause before sending a year end message. Yesterday instead of writing "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Hanukah" (which most people celebrate where I live), I found myself looking for a more universal greeting. I could have sent out a "Happy Solstice" message, I suppose. We all experience the changing seasons thanks to the tilt of the earth moving around the sun. But then I remembered that for people on or near the Equator, the Solstice doesn't mean much. All of this has brought me to this place today where I want to send a different kind of message, one that we can all relate to no matter what we all do or don't celebrate and believe.

As I searched for the perfect holiday/non-holiday message, I remembered the message Richard and I have often used. That's the message I'd like to send to you all today. I think it's something we can all relate to and a desire every human being shares. And it's something many of us move toward through meditation --

"We wish you a peaceful mind and an open heart."

Negative thoughts in meditation

Someone taking our online course asked about negative thoughts in meditation. His concern was whether letting them go would release them into the universe and bring negative results back to him. My answer was absolutely not! When I say "let thoughts be a meaningless activity in the mind", that includes all thoughts, positive or negative. To allow the mind to expand and relax in meditation, we have to release it from its usual focus. During meditation we give the mind a break. We let go of the need to understand, analyze, evaluate and so on. We don't need to pay attention to what our thoughts are about. The type of thoughts we have doesn't matter. It's not necessary to monitor our thoughts in any way and weed out the "wrong kind". All thoughts are equal in meditation! How we handle thoughts in meditation and outside of meditation is different. Outside of meditation the meaning of our thoughts is important, but even then I feel people become overly concerned about "negative" thoughts. So often people people struggle with them. They fear that negative thoughts or angry feelings will bring them harm and this can cause a lot of suffering. I've seen people become tense and afraid when negative thoughts come, trying hard to replace them with something positive. It becomes a war within.

From my perspective, it's not only frustrating to try to eliminate negative thoughts, it's futile! Life is a mixture of positive and negative. We are a mixture of positive and negative. Trying to change that is trying to change the basic structure of things. Can you get rid of one side of a coin or one pole of a magnet?

I don't mean to say that how we think isn't important. Of course, we'd rather have a positive, uplifting perspective on things, and our attitudes and perspectives definitely do affect us. There can be a value in becoming more aware of our mental patterns, particularly our underlying beliefs and attitudes toward life. When we start to see ourselves more clearly, we are sometimes able to bring about shifts in our way of being and seeing things. But bringing about positive changes goes much deeper than simply trying to stop negative thoughts. It involves the ability to relax into who we are and accept ourselves as we are now -- the positive and the negative. It's a kind of paradox that when we can truly accept ourselves all the way just as we are now, we may very well morph into more compassionate people. That is the natural result of self-acceptance.

How does how we meditate relate to how we live life?

Is the purpose of meditation to create a frame of mind that continues outside of meditation? "Paul" asked some great questions related to this in an email. Here's what Paul wrote:

"The meditations seem to follow a similar format applied to different themes. I enjoy listening to them. They are relaxing. Is the frequent use of "easily bring your mind back..." or "doesn't matter" etc by design? Is it intended to get the listener in that frame of mind even when out of meditation? Does it have some other purpose?"

Paul's observation that the meditations follow a similar format applied to different themes is absolutely true The way I think of it is that there are core meditations like Simply Being and Letting Go that embody the essence of meditation. They help the mind let go of its usual outer-directed focus and expand into an easy, open state. Other meditations, like the Nature, Inner Child and Grief meditations, are more effective if that relaxed and open state is achieved before doing any visualizing or imagining. That's why all the meditations start in pretty much the same way.

The frequently used phrases that Paul mentions help the mind and body to relax. In particular, they help us to let go of the habit of straining and working at things, so that we can experience a state of effortlessness. They help us to relax into the natural flow of things. That seems pretty obvious, but what has really had me thinking is whether or not the purpose of these phrases is to get us into that frame of mind when we are no longer meditating. The answer I've come up with is ----  (drum roll)----- "yes and no"!

The answer is yes in the sense that what we practice in the meditations -- letting go of resistance to what is happening, relaxing into our emotions, and being more present in the moment and so on -- will hopefully carry over into our activity. In a way, we call meditation a "practice" because it is practicing certain skills that become applied in our lives. So it could be said that the things I frequently say are meant to get us into that frame of mind outside of meditation, except that it's not exactly the same frame of mind. Only some of the elements of meditation are meant to be carried into our activities. That brings us to the "no" part of my answer.

The answer is no in the sense that in meditation we are letting go of the evaluating, analyzing, accomplishing aspects of the mind. We are allowing the mind to let go of its focus on doing. When we return to our activity, we have to focus on things. The analytical aspect of the mind is important in our daily functioning. In meditation we let go of thoughts, whereas in activity we sometimes need to pursue a train of thought when we are problem-solving. So in this sense, the purpose of these phrases isn't to get us to be in exactly the same "frame of mind" in and out of meditation. The frame of mind while meditating isn't appropriate for most of our time outside of meditation.

Bringing meditation into our lives definitely changes how we experience life outside of meditation. That's one reason we do it. We can certainly live our lives in a more meditative way, but how we apply the principles of meditation during meditation and outside of meditation is different. I've been thinking more and more about how we can approach daily living as meditation. Our new Walking Meditation album is a "step" in that direction. We'll see where that step leads!

What has your experience been? How has your life changed with meditation? How do you think the changes are related to the practice of meditation?